Från: http://www.zious.com/swarmhq/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=viewtopic&t=18

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Lord of the Rings in 1337 Speak!

Enjoy

[At Bilbo’s 111th Birthday]
Merry: ”Omg, I pwn”
Pippin: ”Sif, I pwn”
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: ”Pwned!”

Bilbo: ”This = shiz, bai foos”
Bilbo has left the server
Frodo: ”***!?”

[later, in Bag End]
Gandalf: ”Give teh ringz0r to Frodo”
Bilbo: ”Sif! It r precious!”
Gandalf: ”STFU NOOB!!!”
Bilbo: ”ok”
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire

**Later
Gandalf: ”Show me teh ring, foo!”
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
Gandalf: ”OMGZ, it R teh ring!”
Frodo: ”***?”
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
Sam has been kicked from The Shire

[At Isengard]
Gandalf: ”sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!”
Saruman: ”Foo! U R teh noob!”
Gandalf: ”***?!”
Saruman: ”Sauron pwns joo!”
Gandalf: ”Sif, I R leet”
**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf
Saruman: ”Pwned!”

[on the road to Bree]
Merry: ”look foos, shrooms!”
Pippin: ”Woot! Shrooms!”
Frodo: ”Ph34r!”
Sam: ”Shrooms!”
Frodo: ”PH34R!1!1”
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
Frodo: ”OMG, packetloss!”

[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
Frodo has left the server
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: ”OMGz, dc’d”
Aragorn: ”OMG, noobz”

[at Weathertop]
Merry: ”Mmm, shrooms!”
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
Frodo: ”Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz”

**the black riders attack
Merry: ”OMG!!!”
Sam: ”O.M.G!!!11”
Pippin: ”***”
Frodo has left the server
**head nazgul stabs Frodo’s ghost
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: ”***… hax!”
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
Aragorn: ”PH34r!!!!!!”
Merry: ”LOLOL flamed! ”

[on the road to Rivendell]
Aragorn: ”ZOMG!Arwen!”
**Arwen rides up
Aragorn: ”A/S/L? Wanna net secks?”
Arwen: ”Sif! *** is up with Frodo?”
Sam: ”teh leet Hax0r ”
Arwen: ”Firewall?”

**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
Arwen: ”PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!”
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: ”LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!”
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: ”Pwnt”

[at the Council of Elrond]
Gimli: ”dwarves pwn!”
Legolas: ”Sif, Elves pwn!”
Boromir: ”OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!”
Elrond: ”STFU tards!!1!”
**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth
Gimili: ”Sif ring pwns all!”
**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters
Elrond: ”**sigh, noob”

[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]
Bilbo: ”OLOL, me = 10th level thief!”
Frodo: ”OMG, u r teh pwn!”
Bilbo: ”Do u still have teh ringz0r?”
**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring
Bilbo: ”OMG u tard, I want to TK you!”
Frodo: ”sif!”
Bilbo: ”ph34r my mithril”

[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
Legolas: ”ZOMG, leet gfx!”
Gimli: ”I R dropping frames! FFS”
**There’s an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf
Gimli: ”Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1”
Gandalf: ”**Sigh. Moria?”
Gimli votes to change map to Moria
Votes 4 of 4 required
Legolas: ”lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!”

[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]
Gandalf: ”FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?”
**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!
Frodo: ”OMG! ph34r!”
Boromir: ”GL HF”
Aragorn [broadsword] guardian
Legolas [arrow] guardian
Gandalf: ”gg”

[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]
Gimli: ”OMG!!!! PWNED!”

**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well
Gandalf: ”teh bookz0r has some clues!”
**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well
Gandalf: ”OMG! noob!”
Merry: ”d’oh”
**The fellowship hears the ork drums
Boromir: ”***?”
Aragorn: ”***?”
Frodo: ”…”
Gandalf: ”Oh ffs >.<" **the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!" Aragorn [broadsword] ork Gimli [axe] ork Legolas [arrow] ork Aragorn [broadsword] ork Aragorn [broadsword] ork Boromir [broadsword] ork Gimli [axe] ork Gimli [axe] ork ork: "OMG! h4x!" Gimli: "pwned"! Legolas [arrow] ork Legolas [arrow] ork Legolas: "lol!!" Boromir [broadsword] ork Gimli [axe] ork Gimli: "Foos!" Legolas [arrow] ork ork: "ffs, wallhax!" **The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors Gandalf: "Oh ffs!" Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!" Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!" **Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo Sam: "OMG!" Gandalf: "OMG!" Aragorn: "omg, pwn!" **Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head Legolas [arrow] cavetroll Ork: "OMG! PWNED!" Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs" **The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!" **A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!" Gandalf: "OMG!" **The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows. Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!" Legolas [arrow] ork Legolas [arrow] ork ork: "AIMBOT!" ork: "turn it off!" Legolas: "lolol!" **The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!" Balrog: "***?" Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!" Balrog: "Sif, noob" **Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!" Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!" **The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf Gandalf: "D'oh" Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!" Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!" **Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass Gandalf has left the server Balrog has disconnected [After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien] **The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!" Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?" Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1" [The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river] Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!" uruk hai: "leet!" [stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp] **Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!" Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!" Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers" Frodo: "STFU noob" Frodo has left the server Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!" **A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!" Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Boromir: "****ing campers" **Aragorn comes across the battle Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!" Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!" Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!" **Aragorn goes to Boromir Boromir: "Damn lag!" Warning: Connection problems detected Boromir has disconnected Aragorn: "FFS!" [Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him] Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!" Frodo has connected to the server Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!" Sam: "Sif!" Frodo: "Oh, ffs n00b!" 3Nd!!!!11